Hot Buttered Elvis:
Rockin' Teen Combo, or Goofy Hacks?
By Kurt Loder, exclusively for www.HotButteredElvis.com
Presenting a never-before published interview with the members of Hot Buttered Elvis, and the guys they're attached to. We gathered at Franco's italian restaurant in Dover, Delaware for this exclusive. The interview took place around noon on a Saturday after a show at new rock club Bubba's.
Scott ("You're actually good-looking") Barber, founder of HBE, is the lead vocalist, occasional second guitarist, and all-around ringmaster of HBE's live show. Drummer Rob ("Don't talk with your feed-bag full") San Pietro, formerly with underground punk faves The Meatmen, is, in his words, "an encyclopedia of superflous knowledge" which includes being able to quote from every movie ever made. Lead guitarist Moggio Hozna (not his real name), with the group since February of 2004, is much less of a geek now that he is in a band. And newest member Shawn ("I'm not drinking tonight") Sharifi has jumped into the bassist role with flying, if sometimes inebriated, colors. What follows in an unedited transcript of our conversation, including all accompanying sound effects and nonsense. Who knows, you might need your thesaurus!
KURT LODER : So. Hot Buttered Elvis. First of all, it is great to see you, especially this early in the morning.
SCOTT BARBER : Nice to be seen.
ROB SAN PIETRO : Always. What's up man?
KURT LODER : I've got a bunch of questions for you guys.
MOGGIO HOZNA : He's curious.
KURT LODER : First of all, what is the deal with the name? A story there?
SCOTT BARBER : We get asked that alot. It involves bad lighting, cheap production values, an all-around low-budget late-night video type of affair, basically.
SHAWN SHARIFI : You don't like it? The name?
KURT LODER : No, no, it's great! Very memorable. I was just wondering if there was, you know, a funny anecdote or something. Did you make the low-budget, uh, video or whatever?
MOGGIO HOZNA : I tell ya, he's curious.
ROB SAN PIETRO : Yeah. "Do have any pictures of your mother? You want some?" (laughter)
SCOTT BARBER : You want to be in a late-night video, is that it?
KURT LODER : No, no. I just want the truth. Behind the name.
ALL : "You can't handle the truth!" (laughter)
KURT LODER : OK, OK. Shawn, you've been with the band only a couple of months or so. How is it going?
SHAWN SHARIFI : Lots of fun, so far.
ROB SAN PIETRO : We're still softening him up. (laughs)
SHAWN SHARIFI : People really dig the band. Audiences are real responsive and it is great!
MOGGIO HOZNA : Usually. One time at a frat gig, the guy running the party said to me "You're too loud. And can't you play any songs we like?"
ALL : (laughter)
SCOTT BARBER : Which is weird because they specifically requested us.
ROB SAN PIETRO : And if you don't like at least some of the stuff we play, then you are a freaking idiot.
SCOTT BARBER : We do some cool stuff.
SHAWN SHARIFI : Some audiences are weird. But it's cool. Music can be powerful.
MOGGIO HOZNA : Yeah.
SCOTT BARBER : That's what we try to do. People are sometimes looking to have that powerful, communal experience, have a visceral reaction that fulfills some deep longing that can only be fullfilled through the use of strobe lights, feedback, and bashing on out-of-tune guitars.
ROB SAN PIETRO : Thanks for the explanation, Dr. Phil.
SHAWN SHARIFI : Wearing clown shoes.
SCOTT BARBER : It's not easy to do something you KNOW people are making fun of. But I do, anyway. Wear the shoes.
MOGGIO HOZNA : It's hard to work my wah-wah. With clown shoes.
SCOTT BARBER : I'm classically trained.
SHAWN SHARIFI : You need an extra-large wah-wah.
KURT LODER : Our waitress is coming over.
ROB SAN PIETRO : Talk about extra-large wah-wahs.
ALL : (laughter)
ROB SAN PIETRO (To waitress) : Is it to early to order beer?
SCOTT BARBER (To waitress) : Or a shot?
At this point, our lovely server took our lunch order, and we continued our converstion while Barber excused himself to the restroom.
KURT LODER : Rumour has it that Scott gets nervous before a gig. Sometimes hides.
ROB SAN PIETRO : Who told you that?
MOGGIO HOZNA : It isn't nervousness, more like, uh, you know, anxiety?
SHAWN SHARIFI : Performance anxiety. You probably know about that.
ROB SAN PIETRO : It's not like he's just gonna hang out looking cool like a rock-star. How, uh, pensive can you look with clown shoes on, you know?
KURT LODER : Do any of you have the same experience?
MOGGIO HOZNA : No.
SHAWN SHARIFI : Not really.
ROB SAN PIETRO : Huh-uh. That's why they make beer.
MOGGIO HOZNA : We're just the back-up band. (laughs)
SHAWN SHARIFI : Shh. Here comes Scott.
ROB SAN PIETRO : (laughing) We're talking about you. You rock star.
SCOTT BARBER : There's something wrong with the toilet.
ALL : (laughter)
MOGGIO HOZNA : You know how the Stones and the Who and Zeppelin would go around supposedly trashing hotel rooms, smashing toilets and whatever? We break toilets the old-fashioned way. (laughing) Some of us do, anyway.
ROB SAN PIETRO : Why the fuck would you smash the toilet in your hotel room? What if you need to fuckin' piss later?
MOGGIO HOZNA : Just don't smash the sink.
SHAWN SHARIFI : Those guys were hiiiigh!
SCOTT BARBER : I'm not saying that I ruined it, but the toilet's definitely not working at the moment.
KURT LODER : So you guys won't be driving any Rolls Royce limos into swimming pools?
MOGGIO HOZNA : Not my car. But a Rolls Royce? Maybe. Fuck it. Into the pool!
ROB SAN PIETRO : SPLASH!
SCOTT BARBER : Speaking of cars in water, is it true that VW Bugs will float?
SHAWN SHARIFI : Like if you drove it off a pier?
SCOTT BARBER : Yeah, like "Starsky and Hutch" or something.
SHAWN SHARIFI : There was a thing on the Discovery channel about that, I think.
ROB SAN PIETRO : "Top Ten Cars that Float".
MOGGIO HOZNA : Are they gonna do "EXTREME Top Ten Cars that Float"?
ROB SAN PIETRO : James Bond had a car that could float, right? Or was that Inspector Clusoe?
KURT LODER : I think so. I'll have to look it up. Speaking of transportation, how's the Mystery Machine holding up?
(The Mystery Machine is the HBE van, which looks not unlike the Scooby gang's van on the animated cartoon series.)
ROB SAN PIETRO : Ahh.
SHAWN SHARIFI : The Mystery Machine.
ROB SAN PIETRO : My baby. We've been through alot together.
SCOTT BARBER : There have been some tricky moments, but we're survivors.
MOGGIO HOZNA : Rob drives that thing like it is a little two-seater. It's awesome.
SCOTT BARBER : He becomes one with the road.
MOGGIO HOZNA : He's a Zen master.
ROB SAN PIETRO : Remember when we pulled up right outside of the doors to that hotel down in Charlotte? A Holiday Inn, I think. We pull up and get out, and I pop the hood to just check it out. It was running a little hot.
MOGGIO HOZNA : I remember that.
ROB SAN PIETRO : And we had popped a hose or something, and there was coolant spewing all over. Left this huge puddle of green coolant fluid right at the entrance of the hotel. (laughs)
SCOTT BARBER : And I was checking in.
ROB SAN PIETRO : I go walking in. "Uh, sorry about that." The clerk was like, "No problem. Tee hee!."
SCOTT BARBER : I don't think she realized.
ROB SAN PIETRO : No, I know! She couldn't see it, but everybody walking in had to walk way around and kind of slide by.
At this point our food arrived, and over some of the largest sandwiches I've ever seen, we continued.
KURT LODER : These are some big subs.
ROB SAN PIETRO : Good for in the van. While driving.
SCOTT BARBER : You tried to have some chilli once, while driving, right?
ROB SAN PIETRO : Not the best idea I ever had.
MOGGIO HOZNA : Scott had a great idea about bringing back the feed-bag.
SCOTT BARBER : Strap it on!
MOGGIO HOZNA : Doesn't make for the most scintillating conversation, though.
SCOTT BARBER : Don't talk with your feed-bag full.
ROB SAN PIETRO : (laughing) You're killing me!
SHAWN SHARIFI : Just strap a bungee cord around your head.
Unfortunately, at this point in the tape, a certain alcoholic beverage that comes in a green bottle was spilled into the tape-recorder, and a new cassette was required to keep going. As soon as that portion is transcribed we will make it available here at www.hotbutteredelvis.com.
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